Tiki Titans!
by TheCanadianItalianDarkness
Summary: The Teen Titans are whisked away on a free trip to paradise after winning a mysterious contest. They end up on a strange island, where crazy things begin to happen. Probably several differing pairings. First fan fic ever. Be nice.
1. The Island

Hey guys, this is our first story ever so go easy on us! We love constructive criticism and just plain crazyness. Anyway, enjoy!

Disclaimer: WE DON'T OWN TEEN TITANS, DUDE!

"Friends!" Starfire cried, "Look at what we have received from the mail!" She wildly swung a piece of paper around excitedly.

"Dude, what is it?" asked Beast boy.

"Calm down Star and tell us what you've got." Robin said.

Starfire inhaled and yelled tumaranean folk song style, "We have won a trip to the Bahamas! All expenses have been paid!"

"Oh goody, hot sun, loads of half-naked people, and sand everywhere." Raven said sarcastically, "I can't wait."

"But there's also all the hot Bahaman girls!" Cyborg cried excitedly, "by the way, who's funding this trip?"

"It does not say…." Star said.

"SLADE! It's a plot set by SLADE! Slade slade slade slade slade slade slade slade slade slade slade!"

"Robin, it's time for the medicine of sanity." Starfire called sweetly as Raven and Cyborg held him down.

"Dude, even if it is Slade's plot, how often do we get to go to the Bahamas!" Beast boy yelled.

"WE GET TO TAKE A PRIVATE JET!" Starfire giggled.

Robin pondered the situation for a while… and finally accepted the others ploy.

"Alright… we'll go. But keep your guards up!"

They all packed their bags and went to the airport.

"Why can't we take our own t-jet?" Robin muttered conspicuously.

"Gas is expensive these days." Raven replied.

So they hopped on the plane and enjoyed the view and finally they came to…….. THE ISLAND!

"WE HAVE ARRIVED!" Starfire danced, bouncing off the plane.

"Welcome, man!" A boy with dredlocks greeted them, "I am Rastafa. I'll take you to your hotel." He smiled.

He lead them around a few streets, through a forest, over a bridge, and finally they arrived at their hotel.

"WHEW. I'M GLAD WE'RE FINALLY HERE SO I CAN SLEEP!" Beast boy yelled, panting.

"Who wants to sleep? I'm hitting the beach!" Yelled Cyborg as he grabbed up his beach gear.

"No fair dude! It only takes you ten minutes to completely recharge! I have to sleep!"

"Beastboy, You slept the entire way over here." Raven blatantly stated.

"Sooo…your point?" Beastboy inquired sheepishly.

"You'll be fine."

They put their luggage in their rooms and managed to quickly scurry down to the sunny beach, looking quite comical.

Cyborg wore a big floppy orange hat and carried of all things, a solar panel. "My way of sunbathing!" He joked loudly.

Robin wore a red speedo with an "R" on the back. "You were SO checking me out" He faunted to Raven, who used her powers to give him a wedgie.

Raven herself was just about completely coved up. She was wearing spf 5000 sun block and wore a big wrap that covered every inch of her body neck down. She also wore a hat that looked like it could double as an umbrella. Everything was black. "When Star made a face at Raven's attire, Raven commented loudly, "Fine with me if you all DIE of skin cancer!" Needless to say star looked away. "Oooh, sexy Raven!" Bb teased. He was soon in a nearby palm tree hanging from his shorts, which were green with little animated animals on them. Earlier that day, he had shown them how when you change moods, the shorts change colors. Now, instead of green, they were bright red, as was his face.

Starfire wore a simple white cover up dress.

As the titans entered the beach, starfire ran ahead and quickly pulled off her dress. She was completely naked underneath. Raven fainted. Robin gawked, Cyborg grinned, and beast boy pulled out his camera.

"What is wrong friends? Star asked innocently. "Why do you stare at me so?' "Um, Star, you do realize you're naked don't you?" Robin asked tentatively.

"Of course! Do you earthlings not shed your clothing when you go in the water?" Star asked nervously. "in Tamaran, this is how we do the playing on the beach."

"Not exactly star…" Beast boy said, "But feel free to do so if you want…" He winked inconspicuously.

"You mean that humans do not shed their clothing when they enter the water?"

"No Starfire, WE DON'T. PLEASE PUT SOME CLOTHING ON." Raven shouted (she had regained consciousness).

"EEP!" Starfire eeped and covered herself quickly, running away blushing.

END OF CHAPTER 1

So how do you all like it so far? This is our first fanfic and we don't really know where all this is going. Any ideas would be great.

Canadian April

Italian Chiara (is busy today but will be helping next time)

Dark Meghan


	2. The Boogie Board

Okay…Chapter 2

(just for the record, I don't know how to surf either, so no offense to anyone who finds the boogie board thing insulting.)

Out on the beach, the Titans were all engaged in various activities….

Cyborg was lying out in the sun, soaking up the rays with his handy dandy solar panel.

Starfire, (who had finally found a swimsuit) was running around bothering everyone on the beach, asking stupid questions about the beach and trying to hit on all the guys.

Beastboy was marching around talking about how hot he was in his mood trunks and trying to make moves on a group of girls from Brazil.

Raven sat under a beach umbrella reading a book, occasionally looking up to scowl at the volleyball players in front of her who were constantly hitting her with the ball. She had repositioned herself at least fifteen times, but kept getting hit. They were everywhere!

"I HATE the beach." She muttered bitterly.

Robin had brought out his boogie board.

"I left MY surfboard back in Gotham, so I guess I'll just have to do with this trifling easy little thing." He boasted.

(The truth was he had no idea how to surf, being a city boy and all).

Robin paddled out into the ocean on his boogie board and waited for a big wave to come in. After a few smaller ones, He heard a the distant rumbling of a bigger wave.

"Surfs up dudes!" he called out lamely.

The only other surfer, a hunky guy with long blond hair and nice abs simply stared at our vertically challenged, overly-enthusiastic, Speedo-wearing boy wonder. He paddled away silently out of hearing range.

"Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" robin cried as his mighty blue boogie board carried him swiftly to the shore. He raised himself and picked up his boogie board holding it surfer style as he proudly pranced over to Starfire, who was telling her life's story to a very confused Norwegian.

"Hey Star, wanna come surfing with me?' He inquired cooly.

"I am most sorry dear friend Robin" Star said, "I was just explaining to my new friend Sven the rituals of the Tamaranian celebration of the Blonoganorakanowailedo Festival!"

She turned to face the pale blond boy "Now after igniting the borfag, all females must locate the hidden relics of Tamorag in the purple mines of Opar…"

Sven nodded politely and replied "Ja…"

He glanced at Robin desperately mouthing the words "help me" in Norwegian.

However, Robin, who did not understand one word of Norwegian, simply shrugged and walked off to find someone to "surf" with him.

"Cyborg, come surfing with me!" He called across the beach.

"No way man!" Cyborg called back, "I'm stayin' dry!" He pointed to his solar panel and went back to sunbathing…until two seconds later when two sexy girls strolled by. "Hey there ya'll…" He said flexing his muscles. The girls giggled and Robin walked off dejectedly.

He found Raven under her umbrella conjuring up a curse for the volleyball players. "Um Raven, Where's BB?" He asked warily.

"OVER THERE…with THEM." She narrowed her eyes at the closest group of volleyball players. Beastboy was in the form of a seal showing off by boucing the volleyball on his nose. Several blonde girls (who bore an uncanny resemblance to Terra) were surrounding him.

"Oh," Robin said "It doesn't look like he'll want to come boog-uh…surfing…." He stammered.

"How about you Raven?" Raven glared at him.

"Come on and come out in the water! It'll be fun, and you have got to be burning up wearing all those clothes."

He made a puppy-dog face.

Raven sighed and gave in. "Just this once." She stated firmly.

It took her ten minutes to remove all the clothing she was wearing over her swimsuit, which turned out to be a very flattering navy blue halter top with a matching skirt.

"Where do I get a surf board?" She asked monotonously.

"Here, I brought an extra!" Robin said excitedly shoving a purple boogie-board into her arms.

Raven looked at the boogie board in distaste. "I know the difference between a boogie board and a surfboard Robin, I'm not Starfire you know."

She pushed the little board back into Robin's arms.

"Today, you are going to learn how to surf. You look absolutely pathetic sauntering around acting like you can actually surf."

She strolled down to a rental shack (that just happened to be nearby) and rented two real surfboards. She gave one to Robin.

"Come on, let's go" She said.

"How do you know how to surf anyway Raven?" Robin asked.

"I have my ways." She said darkly.

Robin shrugged and went with it.

They both ran out into the water and paddled to a wavy place. When a big wave came Raven stood up on her surfboard and expertly did her thang. Robin stood gaping with his mouth open. Suddenly the large wave hit him and knocked his speedo off! 111! OMGZ!

"AAAH!" Robin yelled, covering himself before Raven could see (little did he know she had seen everything... yes.. every little thing). He didn't want to stand there holding his groins so he jumped into the water and tried to act cool even though he was bright red.

"Hey, Raven, uh... how about instead of surfing we swim? Hah. Hahaha. Ha."

"Whatever." Raven said and entered the water. Little did Robin know that Raven could open her eyes underwater and she did and she looked at his groins... again. Every little detail...

She came up laughing.

"OMG. DID YOU JUST LAUGH!" Robin said, dumbfounded.

"Maybe just a LITTLE!" Raven laughed harder.

"ARE YOU FEELING OK?"

"I feel a TINY bit... ill.. HAHAhhAHAH!"

"WHATS SO FUNNY?"

"Not a MINISCULE thing... haha. HA." She finally stopped because she ran out of other words for 'little'.

They swam around for a bit until the sun went down and Robin was comfortable getting out of the water because no one would see his wang. Little did he know... Raven could see in the dark!

A terra, Starfire stava mangiando con gli boy di prima.

"mmmmmm. che' buona! posso avere ancora!"

"No." hanno detto a lei.

"E' perche?" chiesto Starfire iniziando di piangere.

"Perche' tu non sei uno di noi." E si son alsati per andare.

Starfire, cosi' triste, e corso per BeastBoy a prendere un po di consiglio di amore.Beast Boy stava giocando con gli ragazze e non volevo che' Starfire stava in torno a lui. Ancora di piu'triste, Starfire corre per gli alberi a noscondere.

Quando Ravene Robin erran finiti di giocare nel aqua, ritornano al umbrello. Raven era' prima di vedere che Starfire non cera'.

"Dove' andata, Starfire?" chiesto Raven a Robin.

"Bo. Chiede a me?L'ultimo tempo che l'avevovisto era sta matina quando siamo arrivate.

**SUMMARY OF ITALIAN INSERT**:**Starfire is rejected by everyone and runs to the woods and isn't seenagain...until later...**

Thanx for the reviews. WE LOVE YOU ALL! We will hopefully update soon. The more reviews there are, the faster we'll update! So get those darn reviews in!


	3. The Ganja

CHAPTIRE TROIS!

CAPITAL TRE!

CHAPTER THREE!

Starfire was crying in the woods, in the fetal position, when she heard a mysterious song coming from deeper within the woods.

"Oooohoohoohoodooodoo ooo oo ooo oo… etc, Don't worry be happy now!"

She rubbed her eyes and started walking towards the sound. "Who is there? Hello? May I ask who iscalling?"

"Landlord say your pay is late, he may have to lift the gate! But don't worry! Be happy!"

"WHO THE BLORKSNAG IS THAT!" Star screeched.

"Heeey man! Chill out! I'm just your stereotypical Jamaican friend, Rastafa!" He smiled, appearing from behind a palm tree and flipping his dreadlocks.

"Oh, Rastafa. I am glad to see you. Will you please direct me back to the area which our hotel is located?"

"Alright! But what's wrong child? Why are your eyes so red and puffy? Have you been smoking the ganja?"

"I know not what is this ganja you speak of, but first I was naked and then my friends treated me as an outcast and the human boy would not let me eat more of his food and.. WAAAAAH!" She wailed, throwing herself into his arms.

"I think you been smoking the ganja, but I'll help you child. Follow Rastafa to his hidden magical hut in the middle of these woods! Come child!" He said, taking her hand and leading her through many trees.

* * *

"Hey, where's Starfire? Beastboy asked 

"Who cares?" Muttered Raven. "Want some more pickles?"

"Yeah, buddy!" Cried Beastboy grabbing the pickles

Cyborg was eating his prize-winning potato salad when he looked up from the picnic. "I wonder where Robin went..." He wondered aloud.

Raven snickered quickly but clasped her hands over her mouth. "He was a LITTLE held up." she said a little _too_ pleasantly. Her cheeks turned red from trying not to laugh.

"Okaaaay..." Cy said raising his eyebrows in distrust.

"I'm back!" Robin called from the jungle-lined pathway entering the beach. He now had on red trunks with his signature "R" on the back.

Raven quickly regained enough of her composure to only smile...which was still somewhat weird.

"It's starting to get late, maybe we should go back to the hotel now." Cy said raising himself up from the ground. "It's already dark."

"Dude, no way! According to the hotel brochure, there is going to be a raggae band at nine!" Beast boy cried, "besides Cy, think of all the chicks that will be out tonight!" He nudged Cyborg, doing that whole eyebrow thing he does.

"We are called girls, not 'Chicks" Raven said glaring evilly at Beastboy.

"O.K." Beastboy gulped. He turned around and smiled wickedly "Dude she's so into me!" he thought to himself.

Raven read his mind and slapped him. "I probably deserved that." he said.

Just then Cyborg opened up the basket and poured out the contents. "BUT WHY"S THE RUM GONE?" He cried.

* * *

"Day-o Oh Day-ay-ay-oh Daylight come and I wanna go home" Sang Rafasta as he stirred a gig bubbling cauldron. He looked at Starfire. 

"It is ready." He said with a twinkle in his eye.

"Good" Starfire said evilly, "Soon, they will not reject me!" She cried, "SOON, THEY WILL NOT REJECT.. ANYONE! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"HAA HAA MON! HAHAhA!" Rafasta joined the cackling. Starfire helped him dump the contents of the cauldon into the magical metal drum. When the band played... the magic would begin! MWAHAHA-oops. I'm doing it too. It's catchy.

* * *

"Now presenting the famous "Banana boat brothers!" an announcer in a hawaiian shirt called. 

"Alright!" Cy cried jumping up. "Let's hurry and find a good spot!"

The beach was a good spot to hear the band because the music could be heard all over the island and the titans were the only ones at the beach for some strange reason. They had a good view of the stage and watched happily as the band members appeared.They were all stereotypical jamaicans just like Rafasta, infact they were all his brothers-EXCEPT...

"STARFIRE?"

"I didn't know she was in a band! That's pretty hot!" BB said.

The band started to play, the mellow bouncy music echoing around the island. They were very good, the music was almost entrancing. And then, Starfire started pounding on her drum.

"WOW! SHE IS AMAZING." Robin yelled all of a sudden.

"YES!" Raven agreed.

The beat pounded harder and harder, almost as though it was pounding into the titans very souls. It was just so irresistable, that they all started to dance! Even Raven (she was really bad though.).

"OOh, yah, ooh, what a beat!" Cyborg said, swinging his hips back and fourth flambuoyently.

"Yesssssssssssss, ow ow ow!" BB started doing the air hump and winked at Cy.

Suddenly Robin jumped on Raven and started rolling around in the sand with her! And she didn't even fight back!

A maniacal cackle resonated from the stage, but the titans were oblivious to it anyway.

The music halted as Star jumped down from the stage. But all the Titans were still acting strangely. Cyborg and Beast boy were making out in the waves. Robin and Raven were half-naked.

"Ahem," Star said smirking.

Beast boy and Cy immediately ran to her and bowed down before Beast boy grabbed her.

"STAR... I missed you... baby.." He smiled, moving in for a kiss.

"EEEP! IT IS UNREASONABLE TO ENGAGE IN SANAPTO BEFORE BECOMING GARAD ON MY PLANET!" Starfire screeched, pushing him away but feeling incredibly happy inside.Beast boy looked shot down but just shrugged and went back to Cyborg.

Starfire started to walk towards Robin and Raven, grinning evilly.

"Hello Robin." She said, playing with her hair.

"MMf. Smarla" He mumbled from inside ravens mouth.

Starfire pulled him off of her and said hello again.

"Hey Star. What's up."

Meanwhile Raven was starting to look mighty impatient on the ground. "ROBIN!" She yelled, and pounced on him, instantly smothering him with kisses.

"Gotta go Star, ttyl." He winked and went back to business.

This pissed Starfire off greatly. "WTF," She thought, "THE POTION MUST BE WEARING OFF!" She glowered and went back to beast boy, hey, maybe he still wanted some sugar.

* * *

Three days later... 

Raven was in the bathroom. The potion had worn off, but the consequences obviously hadn't.

"ROBIN!" She yelled and stomped violently out out of the room into Robin's bedroom. "I missed my freakin' period!" She yelled.

"So?..." asked Robin tentatively cringing.

"I'm having your baby!" She screamed, "Look at this, the strip is most definately pink!"

Her powers went suddenly out of control (a bit like the whole darth vader force storm thing) Robin ran out crying.

He ran far away, far, far, very far... until he came to find himself in the fetal position in a dark forest, sobbing.

"Oh my god... I can't believe this... what am I gonna do... we're too young to quit the titans... it's not a good place for a kid to grow up..." He mumbled between sobs.

"Ooh, ohoooooooo hooo ooo hoooooohhhh..."

Robin heard a strange voice from the darkness. "WHO'S THERE! SLADE!"

"Oohoooohhh... oooo oohh. Don't worry be happy."

Robin jumped up and pulled out one of his birdarangs, he was just about to throw it when who should appear but... RAFASTA!

"Hey mon, whats troublin you?" He said softly.

"Raven's sniff pregnant!"

"Well come with me, mon. I'll take you to a good friend of mine,and we'll make it allll betta."

"Drugs don't help, Rafasta."

"That's not what I'm talkin about, mon, this is called revenge! Just come with me!"

Intruiged, Robin followed Rafasta through many twists and turns through the woods until he finally arrived at a small hut.

"This is my shack, mon. Come on in!"

He entered and there was... A LION! OMG!

"WATCH OUT RAFASTA!" Robin yelled and whipped out his birdarang again-

"No mon, this is my home dawg, Mufasa!"

"Mufasa Mufasa Mufasa, just hearing his name makes me shudder!" Mufasa laughed, taking another whiff from his pipe and turning into a big cloud. Then-POOF! He turned into SLADE!

"SLADE!" Robin yelled, and he threw his birdarang.

Slade caught it and guffawed. "Chill, dude, I'm not here to fight, I'm here to help you! Whyyy can't weeee be friends, why can't weee be friiieeends..." He started to sing.

"Is he high?" Robin asked Rafasta.

Rafasta nodded wisely.

I can help you Robin. I know who is responsable for this. Rafasta gave a magical potion to your little buddy Starfire, which allowed her to play magical raggae music which she thought would make you fall in love with her.

"WTF, mate?" Robin raised his brows in confusion.

"She is responsible for you and Raven...um...procreating." He said snickering.

"What's so funny?" Robin cried.

"It's just...Raven...you...hehehe..." Slade said giggling.

"I'll have you know this is a very serious matter!" Robin said indignantly

"Tell me more, tell me more... did you get very far?" Slade sang mockingly.

Robin smiled grudgingly. He loved that musical. it made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside. He heard himself responding.

"She was good if you know what I mean.." He sang before snapping out of it, "ANYWAY, WHY AM I HERE?" He yelled.

"LOLZ... raven.. robin... would you name the baby PENGUIN!" Slade chortled.

"SHUT UP!"

"Anyway, ok. Yo. Yo. Uh. Uh. Lay the beat down," Slade started to rap, "Newsflash, starfire's an ass, she made you get raven pregnant guess you failed health class, so here's what your gonna do, we gon makethat b!tch turn a different hue, so come a little closer and i'll tell you what's new!"

Robin, mezmerized by his awesome MC SKILLZ, leaned in. Slade whispered something and laughed.

"THAT'S OFF THE HIZZLE!" Robin danced, and him and Slade did their secret handshake. The deal was done and done. They informed Rafasta of the plan and set to work...


	4. Stranded

Yay! New chappie! Writer's block sucks.

Back at the hotel, Raven told everyone the news.

"Congratulations!" Cyborg smiled and patted her on the back, knocking the breath out of her.

"Um.. yah.. congratulations." Beast Boy mumbled with his eyes downcast. A large tear rolled out of his eye, secretly sad that he wasn't the one to impregnate her.

Starfire sat hunched in a corner brooding, and said nothing.

"This is NOT something to be congratulated for! What the HECK happened that night to make us randomly do that!"

Starfire smirked evilly. "I do not know, friend Raven…. It was most… um… _random _indeed!"

Raven looked at Star suspiciously, "You know, I'm an empath, and can sense what you're feeling… which happens to be very evil at the moment."

They both glared at each other for about 5 minutes, and suddenly began beating the crap out of each other.

"YOU GOT ME FUCKING PREGNANT!" Raven screamed as she pulled out Starfire's hair.

"Actually, Robin did!" Starfire laughed maniacally as she kicked Raven in the shin.

"Freakin' TROQ!" Raven said as she slapped Starfire across the face.

"Oooo…," Beastboy called from a distance.

"I bet on Starfire!" Cyborg said.

"No way! Raven's stronger!" Beastboy retorted

"Nu-uh!"

"Yu-huh!"

"Pansy!"

"Gay ass fag!"

"YOU were the one who kissed ME!"

"STFU!" Beastboy screamed. Suddenly Beastboy lunged at Cyborg and the pair crashed into Raven who was strangling Starfire who, in turn, kicked Beastboy in the crotch while struggling to free herself.

FREE FOR ALL! MEGA-BATTLE! MEELEE!

Suddenly a voice called out above the chaos- "STOP!"

"Robin!" Starfire chirped.

"ROBIN…" Raven growled.

"Robin." Cyborg sighed.

Beastboy was unconscious.

"What are you guys doing? We're supposed to be a team of heroes, not wrestlers-"

Just then the phone rang. Robin scowled at the interruption to his wonderful speech and walked over to pick up the receiver.

"Hello?" He said, switching it to speakerphone.

"Uh… hi, this is the airline that flew you here…." The voice said nervously, then it began to talk very quickly, "We've gone completely bankrupt and sold all our planes, and don't have to money to pay anyone to bring you back, so unless you're a really good swimmer, you're stuck on the island for the rest of eternity, haveanicedaybye!" He hung up the phone.

"This vacation just keeps getting better and better." Robin said sarcastically.

Raven grabbed her mouth and ran to the bathroom.

"Just great." Cy agreed.

"Wha?" Beastboy was finally conscious.

"Um.. nothing, man." Cy told him.

"Oh. Ok!"

Meanwhile, a fox was running through the forest. He stopped suddenly and stared up at a tree. What he was looking at, we'll never know, because a dark shadow swooped down and engulfed the unsuspecting fox and ate it. "Not again!" The fox thought. We'll never know why.

Raven walked back out of the bathroom and randomly slapped Robin who said nothing.

"Um.. so what y'all gonna name the kid!" Cyborg said excitedly. He loved kids!

"I think we should call him Dick jr!" Robin said proudly.

"And I think someone should hold you down and whisper bad things about the world into your ear." Raven said darkly.

"You should call it GARFIELD!" Cried Beastboy.

"Same goes for you."

"CALL IT BLARKNOG!" Starfire smiled. Incidentally it meant bastard child.

"You have no say in this." Raven glared.

"Name the child Farasta, or Bob Marley the second!" A voice called from outside the room.

"Eh?" Everyone said.

Robin opened the door and smiled.

"Ooh… Rafasta! You're here, eh!" He grinned evilly.

"Yes, I have come to invite you to the island festival that celebrates the island gods, mon!"


	5. toasters and winkies

It was a quiet morning at the resort. Beast boy was snoozing on the couch, cyborg had fallen asleep in the fridge. Raven was locked in her room and Starfire was yodeling in the shower but it was a soundproof shower so luckily no one else could hear her. But Robin was nowhere to be found(not that anyone was looking)!

Suddenly- WHAM! Something crashed through the doorway, waking everyone up.

Oh NO! SLADE!

Everyone got into their battle positions! A huge fight erupted! Waaaah! CRaSH! BaNG! BAND! RUBBER BAND! OWIE!111111!

Starfire was the only one left conscious to fight. "I WILL DEFEAT YOU! FIEND!" She shouted. She lunged at him and suddenly he dumped a bottle of something on her, but she kicked him in the face and sent him flying. He didn't return.

"HAHAH! I HAVE DEFEATED SLADE!" She giggled.

"Great job, star!" Robin suddenly appeared out of nowhere and snickered.

"Ooh, robin…." She went all googley eyed.

"so star… are you feeling….different in any way?" Robin asked innocently.

"Um, no Robin." Said Star confusedly.

"Oh." Robin hung his head.

He walked away sadly. So starfire decided to continue her shower since everyone was unconscious or MIA.

"La LA laaaa. Snorkleblaggg fonda lopp!" She sang, undressing (OOO kinky). She stepped into the shower and turned on the water and began to wash. As she washed her lower area she had a strange feeling. So she looked down at her crotch and-

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! wtfmate!"

Miles away, robin giggled.

Everyone woke up. "What is it star!"

She didn't answer.

"ALRIGHT, I'M GOING IN THEN!" A worried beast boy crashed through the door to the bathroom only to be greated by a very… unpleasant sight….

"IS-IS THAT-… I THOUGHT YOU WERE A GIRL?" He bellowed, then ran away screaming. Starfire covered herself and started to cry.

"There there." Raven said, patting her back but grinning evilly. No wonder she was the one to get pregnant, then.

"WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?" Starfire sobbed into Raven's shoulder.

"Well uh… puberty?"

"But when that happened, I simply turned into a monstrous being for a few days and flew to another planet for a while and was almost eaten by a big scary thingy!" Star cried.

"Are you sure this wasn't like that all along?" Beast-boy asked concernedly.

"Don't talk to him Star, he's gay and he's hitting on you." Cyborg growled.

"WHAT!" BB lunged at Cyborg and they had a battle.

Suddenly the phone rang.

"HELLO." Starfire picked up the phone with suddenly a very masculine voice.

"Um hi, ok well the plane is running now, y'all can come back to teen titans tower whenever you want us to pick you up. In other words, we're coming tomorrow."

"WHAT! BUT WHAT WILL THE MASSES THINK! I AM A MAN NOW!" Starfire cried, hanging up.

"Who was that?" Raven asked.

"N-NO ONE."

"Okaaay."

"What are we going to do? Starfire's a man, Robin is acting way mysterious, Raven's preggers and Beast Boy's gay!" Cyborg began to have a mental breakdown on the bathroom floor. Some circuts sizzled and exploded, rendering him a pile of junk.

"This is great." Raven muttered and then threw up all over the place.

"We've gotta fix cyborg!" BB's eyes welled up with tears. "I CAN"T LIVE WITHOUT HIM!"

BB ran to go get some tools and came back with tofu. "Oops." He ran off again. When he returned, he started to fix Cyborg.

"Uh… maybe I should be doing that…." Raven murmured, but BB was in too much of an emotional frenzy to hear her.

SuddenlyPOOF he was done. There before him sat a brand new shiny toaster!

"Perfect for margarine toast-never butter folks." He smiled 


	6. The circle of life

Beast Boy stroked his shiny new toaster. "You look good, baby…" He murmered.

This disturbed the rest of the titans and they did their best to ignore them completely.

"AaaaaaaaaaaaaGGGGGGH!" Starfire's voice cracked.

"UH…. I … I THINK I'M GOING INTO LABOR!" Raven suddenly yelled. Everyone stared at her.

"What? You've only been pregnant for like 5 days!" Robin suddenly screeched out of nowhere.

"On my planet the whole process happens very quickly. Oh and we hatch from eggs."

"o.o" Well robin didn't say that but that's the face he made.

"Ooh baby… you like that when I push your handle down don't you… That turns you on…" Beast Boy said seductively and started to hump Cyborg/toaster.

"ARHHH… GET ME DRUGS! ALCHOHOL! Chocolate!" Raven huffed, grabbing her stomach.

"Maybe we should get you to a hospital." Starfire itched her crotch.

Rafasta appeared out of nowhere. "There are no hospitals on dis island." He climbed into the window. "I will deliver de child!" He walked over to Raven.

"NO! NO STAY AWAY FROM ME!" Raven screamed and clawed at Rafasta's face with her fingernails. "ALL OF YOU, GO AWAY!"

"But I want to see your…." Beast boy started, midway hump.

"OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT!"

"Okay." BB inched away slowly and began running out of the room, clutching his toaster.

Raven picked everyone up using her powers and dumped them outside the room.

"Hey! I'm the daddy! I should get to see!" Robin complained loudly.

"Tough cookies!" Raven yelled.

Suddenly Rafasta appeared inside of the house again and instantly WHAMMED a joint inside Raven's mouth.

"GET OU-aaahh." She breathed.

"Ganja man's best friend." Rafasta smiled and put on some rubber gloves.

"Yeah yeah shut up and pass the bong."

Meanwhile the rest of the titans waited outside impatiently.

"BEAST BOY WILL YOU STOP HUMPING THAT DanG TOASTER!" Robin shouted and grabbed it from BB, throwing it in the lake.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" BB cried.

"So you really are gay then?" Starfire inquired.

"No I just like toast."

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" A cry erupted from the hut.

"Wow, out already? Damn that girl can push!" BB peeped and ran into the house, the others following closely behind.

They were met with a very sweaty Raven and Rafasta, who was holding an egg which seemed to be screaming.

"Wtf mate?" BB said at the sight.

"I told you, they stay in eggs for a few days!" Raven threw a dirty towel on him.

"And now it is time." Rafasta said and blew a whistle.

Suddenly who should appear but RAFIKI!

"Hey mon!" They said and whacked eachother on the heads.

"So, time for the ol' pride rock coronation thing, right mon?" Rafiki said, grabbin the egg and smearing red paint and dirt on it.

"Come."

The titans walked all the way to Pride Rock and rafiki held the egg up for all the animals in the animal kingdom to see.

Aaaaa simbetima babaeee seemaamo

The cirrrcle of lifffffeeee

Nanana nennananaaa!

TheN- OOP! He dropped it OMG.

A very pissed-looking little girl sat on the ground looking very evilly at Rafiki.

"Doom on you!" she cried in a tiny voice and picked up rafiki using her kung-fu Raven powers. She tossed him off the cliff.

"That's my kid!" Raven smiled.


End file.
